Is the Love of Your Life Waiting for You on Dating Apps?

In this digital age, where everyone seems to be chasing the bag, dating apps have become the go-to place for finding potential romantic partners.

But do dating apps actually work? Do people find love there? Is the love of your life on dating apps? Well, I have no answers, so I asked BellaNaijarians and they’ve got the answers, based on their experiences using the app.

Why did you decide to try a dating app?

Osas: I was bored. Sounded like a fun thing to do so I said why not? There was also a tiny part of me that was like “never say never. Yunnooo I just might meet the one” But it was more of boredom than anything else, to be honest.

Layomi: To be honest, life can be a lot when you want to meet someone new, it’s a bit much and personally I do not walk up to women in person to “strike a conversation.” I tried it when I was way younger and it was a disaster, so for me dating platforms help in creating a nice launch pad to start.

Dorcas: I decided to try a dating app because I wasn’t going out much and meeting people.

A: I was bored and I wanted something fleeting – like talking to a stranger for a few hot minutes and forgetting all about it by the next day.

Esther: I’ve never been on a dating app. But, guess what? One time around, a potential boyfriend told me he saw me on Tinder.

Woah, how did that happen?

I dunno o. Well, it turned out someone close to me had opened the account to catfish and stylishly swindle people of their money.

 A Tinder Swindler story? Holy crap!

Something like that.

Now, you’ve got to tell us all about it

Haha, sure. This person is really close to me and married. So it’s natural that she wouldn’t want to be found on a dating app. But then, she decided to use my name and photo. When she swipes right and connect with a person, they get chatting. Suddenly, she begins to have one financial problem or another. All through this period, she avoids video calls with the person. And when she’s gotten what she wants, she moves on to the next.

What did you do when you found out?

Well, I was sharing it with a group of people when she started chuckling. And then she confessed she was the one.

How did that make you feel?

Really bad, I’m not going to lie. Seeing myself there was jarring. And it was a potential partner who saw it, so I looked silly saying it wasn’t me that opened the account.

Sorry about that. Did y’all’s experience on the app meet your expectations, or were there any surprises along the way?

Osas: I have a catfish story too but unlike Esther, no one was using my profile. So there was this really nice profile I stumbled upon, and you know, I was like, “Ah, this is a nice profile”. The guy looked really hot, the photos were banging and all of that. So of course, I swiped right, and they swiped right too. We started chatting, and everything seemed fine, until I noticed that this person’s profile and the way they were talking weren’t matching.

There was a disconnect. First of all, this person was supposed to be in the diaspora, but there was just something off about the way they spoke. I started to suspect something wasn’t right. Then we had a call, and during the call, we talked about where we were from and everything. That’s when I realised we were actually from the same place, you know, around the same village and everything.

Somewhere along the line in our conversation, this guy just started to jabber on, and the things he said on his profile were no longer clicking. He basically told on himself. I think he realised immediately after the call ended that he had revealed too much and he just unmatched and disappeared.

A: No, it didn’t meet my expectations. I’ve met only boring people on Bumble so far. Uggh, am I doing something wrong?

Layomi: I use Bumble, and the concept is absolutely brilliant! Since women have to make the first move, Nigerian women actually have to put in effort and show their game. It’s great to see Nigerian women step up and put in the effort, and I respect that. It’s been a great experience overall and has exceeded my expectations in several ways. Stay sharp—there are plenty of profiles that are just for vibes and billing. but if you know the game, it’s easy to filter them out and swipe left.

Dorcas: I met a lot of badly behaved people, but I also met a few nice people.

Esther: I didn’t use the app, I’d say seeing myself there was jarring. And it was a potential partner who saw it. I looked silly saying it wasn’t me that opened the account.

I can imagine. How did using the app compare to meeting people in real life?

Osas: Meeting people in real life will always be different; it will always stand out, to be honest. But I like the idea of getting to know people from a distance first, before taking it a step further and deciding if you want to meet them in person. Although, another interesting thing is that their real-life personality and what you might have perceived online could be two very different things. So, I would always meeting people in real life over, you know, meeting people through an app. People pretend, or rather, they put their best foot forward, but then you meet them in real life and get the real tea and drill.

It wasn’t anything outrageous though. I enjoyed it. Being behind the phone, testing out my rizz, using new lines and fresh approaches – like how in real life, you could never walk up to someone and start a conversation, especially as a woman, where it’s usually guys making the first move. But on Bumble, you have to send the first message, so it was nice being in charge. I really enjoyed that part.

Layomi: I truly believe dating apps, when used correctly, are a great way to meet people. They take away the awkwardness of first encounters, letting you connect through conversations first. So when you finally meet, it feels effortless and relaxed.

Dorcas: A lot of expectations but in reality it was reverse (I don’t know if this make sense) I rather meet someone in reality.

A: I meet most people via social apps ’cause I’m rarely outside. Apart from first or instance attraction, I don’t see a difference. Meeting is meeting.

Would you recommend dating apps to others? Why or why not?

Osas: I don’t know. I’d just say, give it a try, but don’t expect anything more than that. Just vibe with it. If something comes out of it, great. If not, move on. But don’t join the app thinking you’ll meet the love of your life. In fact, I’ll go a step further and say the love of your life is probably not on any dating app. But I could be wrong; you might just be one of the lucky ones who finds that person.

Still, don’t put your expectations too high so you won’t be disappointed. Just roll with it. Have fun like I did. It was fun while it lasted. I met interesting people, annoying people, funny people. And all in all, it was a nice experience. I think it was enjoyable because I didn’t join the app with high expectations or hopes. I just went in to see how things went and have fun. But if you go in with a very serious mindset, I don’t know if you’ll find what you’re looking for. But that’s it for me.

Layomi: Put some effort into your bio ooo! Your picture grabs attention, but your bio seals the deal. I get tons of compliments on mine. Sometimes, a funny bio is all it takes to get a ‘right’ swipe from me.

Dorcas: I would and I also wouldn’t. For the fact that it didn’t work out for me, doesn’t mean it won’t work out for others, after all, a lot of people found their partners via these dating apps.

A: Well, for love and relationship, I’d say don’t get your hopes high. I haven’t met anyone I’d like to be my friend there, talk more of a relationship. For good vibes and fun, by all means. Go ahead.

Esther: A friend of mine found love on a dating app. So I’m not knocking it off. I mean… anything can happen.

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Feature image by RDNE Stock project for Pexels