Mr Viral
By Laurent Poulin, Astrology Expert around the Canadian
I inherited a gift as a child: I can easily predict what will happen in the near future. If I stick to a 1-3 year time frame, I don’t think I’ve been wrong since 1982 when it comes to my early-year predictions about the Habs.
It’s easy to comment on a game after it’s happened, but predicting what’s going to happen in advance is an arduous task that involves studying sky charts, computer simulations and a good dose of intuition. Inspired by characters who have left their mark on Québécois folklore, such as Madame Minou and Jojo Savard, I offer you my predictions for the 2024-2025 season.
10- Jakub Dobeš will revive the ménage à trois
The stars are aligning for the great Czech goalkeeper. Excluding his start to the 2023-2024 season, Jakub stopped everything in its tracks in the second half of the season, and his training camp was prodigious. With all the defensive talent in Laval this year (Mailloux, Struble, Trudeau, and maybe Xhekaj, Barron and Reinbacher), I expect Jakub Dobeš to get his hands on the Aldege Baker, Harry Holmes, and Jack Butterfield trophies. In short, he’ll win it all for a goalkeeper.
This will be the year of Jakub Dobeš, and neither Samuel Montembeault nor Cayden Primeau will be safe after Valentine’s Day 2025.
Everyone’s talking about Fowler, but the future #1 goalie may (already) be in Laval → https://t.co/clTppqgnbl
– DansLesCoulisses (@DLCoulisses) September 23, 2024
9- Brendan Gallagher will increase his number of goals and even progress
Venus in Aries leads me to believe that the little #11 will score more than 20 goals this season. His 32 years don’t mean much. He wasn’t very fast even at 27, but he still knows where to be, and he’ll be racking up garbage goals this season. He has no fear of getting into traffic.
With the injury to Patrick Laine, the legendary “consistency” of Joel Armia and Josh Anderson, Brendan Gallagher will get turns on the top 6 and the second wave of the powerplay.
8- Jake Evans will lose his place on the 4th line
The 4th line center has scored just 9 goals in his last 136 games. He’s not good enough on the power play, nor does he bring enough toughness or presence up front to keep his job beyond the 2024-2025 season.
A young player with fresher, more muscular legs, such as Oliver Kapanen, Owen Beck or Emil Heineman, will take his place during the season.
7- Joel Armia will be traded for a 2nd-round pick in the West
In 2011, the day after my birthday, the Habs acquired Dominic Moore for a 2nd-round pick, and I still can’t believe it.
At the trade deadline, almost any player averaging 0.45 points per game can earn a second-round pick. Now imagine a 6-foot-3, 215-pound Finn skating like the wind.
It’s no coincidence that Armia starts on the second line. It’s a brilliant idea by Kent Hughes, who places him in the showcase.
6- Tony Marinaro will create a #JamesHagensBPM2024 movement
In the modern era of hockey, there’s a real buzz around rebuilding. The podcast Processus, Tout sur le hockey, or the Reconstruction series on Crave are proof of this.
Our defense is too young and weak, our goaltending isn’t in the top two-thirds of the league, and Marc Bergevin’s bad contracts are still weighing on the club. Let’s be honest, the powerplay is horrible, and Martin St-Louis doesn’t know what a defensive game system is.
We’re going to lose 4-3 all year, and that’s wonderful. Because James Hagens is the bonus player for mediocrity this year. A gifted center, fast and complete, who already has me salivating.
Tony Marinaro will pounce on this and make it a weekly debate with JiC. One will want to win, and the other will want a high draft pick to hope for a dynasty one day.
2025 NHL DRAFT RANKINGS:
James Hagens, Porter Martone headline the pre-season Top 40 from prospect analyst @SEllisHockeyhttps://t.co/QXMwkkNdHv
– Daily Faceoff (@DailyFaceoff) October 5, 2024
5- Lane Hutson won’t produce 1 point per game
I’ve read all about the little defenseman. Marinaro talked about 82 points, others are betting on him for the Calder Trophy, like Mathias Brunet. What are the stars saying about Lane Hutson?
He’ll be on the second pair with David Savard and in charge of the 2nd powerplay unit, which is 0 in 30 preseason games. He’s an incredible forward, but the team’s limitations will dampen expectations.
I predict 5 goals and 34 assists, for an interesting total of 39 points for this 2022 draft steal.
That’s why Lane Hutson is so good out of the zone.
He creates his own plays and he’s comfortable even when there’s pressure on him. pic.twitter.com/nlnpSVjHX4
– Marc-Olivier Cook (@Cook_Marco) October 8, 2024
4- A journalist will start questioning Martin St-Louis’ work
I’ve worked with Martin St-Louis’s father, a pleasant man to be around. However, I wonder about journalists’ patience with MSL. The pundits scoff at his non-existent defensive system, Alex Burrows is gone, and the power play still isn’t working.
I predict that a veteran journalist, perhaps Réjean Tremblay at Le Devoir, will start questioning St-Louis. He won’t make it past Christmas 2025 at the helm of the Habs.
3- The Habs will take a step back in their rebuild by trading Mike Matheson for a 1st-round pick at the deadline.
Simon “The Snake” Boisvert explained that you need a core of 8-10 dominant players to take the next step. Matheson is racking up the points, but his successor, Lane Hutson, is already there. The solution: ask for the moon at the trade deadline.
I predict that in March 2025, a prospect and a 1st-round pick will arrive in trade for Matheson.
2- Cole Caufield won’t score 30 goals, and we’ll relive a Trevor Zegras saga
There’s something weird about Caufield. Off-ice rumors, no 30-goal season… He’s talented, but small and fragile.
I predict that Slafkovsky and Demidov will surpass him in the pecking order and that Caufield will be sacrificed in the summer of 2025 to get a big defenseman.
1- Nick Suzuki has plateaued and will no longer increase his points-per-game ratio
Many believe that Suzuki will increase his point-per-game ratio every year. Wrong. He’s played a lot because of injuries, accumulating points in losses. I predict he’ll plateau as an effective 65-70 points per season player.
My crystal ball has run out. I’ll be back next year!
GIPHY App Key not set. Please check settings