Jordan Middler’s Top 10 Games of 2024 and What to Drink with Them

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by Marino – Brad Lynch on December 27, 2024This web site has a long history of energy drink recommendations.

Hello, it’s Glasgow Celtic enthusiast Jordan Middler here. You may know me as the brains and the muscle behind VGC. Giant Bomb folk are always very nice about VGC, which is nice. If you’d like to support VGC, we launched our Patreon this year, which is nice. Anyway, shameless plug out of the way.

I’d like to take this chance to acknowledge that on the last night of Summer Game Fest, Tam and Lucy walked me back to the hotel like the parents to me they are. While waiting for their taxi, we started throwing a paper ball into a bin. Following many failed attempts, Tam shoogled his shoulders, and launched it from about 500,000 feet away, right into the bin. That was my moment of the year. Shout-out to the LA Clippers.

10. Tetris ForeverPairs with: Monster Ultra White – A timeless classic.

Tetris is the best game ever, so what if they let you play the best game ever, forever? Now we’re talking. Fun fact: When they were making that Tetris film a few years ago, they needed to find somewhere that would double as Soviet Russia. Do you know where they chose? The grim desolate wasteland of modern-day Aberdeen. What a horrible little place that is.

9. Pokémon TCG PocketPairs with: Water – The original energy drink.

I think it’s really funny when I get Articuno and Misty on the first turn. Being able to win the game with my stupidly overpowered bird before my opponent can even compete? Now let me tell you, that’s gaming.

When it happens to ME? Bullshit.

I’ve only spent like £30 on the game so far and I have basically every card, which is cool.

8. Like a Dragon: Infinite WealthPairs with: Pocari Sweat

This game came out about 200,000 years ago, but from what I can remember, you’re largely kicking around Hawaii and concussing people. That’s all I need from a game. There’s also a weird Pokémon thing? You’re like collecting angry Japanese men to fight each other in Pokemon-style battles. I’m not sure how RGG puts these games out so quickly. Good game.

7. Thank Goodness You’re HerePairs with: A pint of tea

Say what you want about the hellhole that is England, but they can make some funny video games. There have been a lot of “funny games,” that are about as humours as a tooth extraction, but that’s largely because they were made by Americans, the least funny populous on earth. This is a legit funny game. Also, there’s a bit where a guy gets his cock out.

Did you know that Lucy James once literally met the Queen? Then only a few dozen years later, Lizzie’s downstairs. Makes you think.

6. Dragon’s Dogma IIPairs with: Monster Energy Ultra Blue – Sophisticated, subtle, sublime.

Spoilers

I don’t think I’m smart enough to appreciate how good this game actually is. When the game ends and it finally flashes a Dragon’s Dogma II title card, only to reveal that there are hours more game to play, I pissed myself laughing. Great game. If you come across my pawn, Chappell Roan, be nice.

5. Final Fantasy VII RebirthPairs with: Red Bull – Big in the 90s, still banging.

We all agree that Cloud and Sephiroth should kiss, but as someone who sleeps next to an incredibly long-haired individual, I can only imagine how many times Cloud would lean on Seph’s barnet and cause chaos.

I liked the musical bit in this, they should make more games have random musical sections in them, have a bit of fun for God’s sake.

4. Metaphor: ReFantazioPairs with: Monster Ultra Fantasy Ruby Red – As subtle as a hammer to the teeth.

Not as many dick monsters as you’d expect from a game by Atlus. I do think it’s quite funny that in video games a political message as simple as “Oh here, by the way, some people are a bit racist and our whole world is built on those foundations so that the ruling class can remain in power,” is heralded as some kind of last bastion of hope, but it’s a nice thought. Also, proof if proof was needed that democracy doesn’t work. The guy that chants on the soundtrack sounds a lot like Serj Tankian. Really fantastic game.

3. Indiana Jones and The Great CirclePairs with: Irn Bru 32 – Belongs in a museum.

Despite its best effort (being an Xbox game) Indiana Jones is great. Small Christmas joke for the lads there.

I don’t have much funny to say about this to be honest, it’s just a really good game. Instead, watch this clip of this Nazi jumping off a chair like a cat. Really funny stuff. They should make more of these.

2. BalatroPairs with: Monster Energy Juice Monster Rio Punch – Forever chasing that high.

Balatro is the only game I’ve ever played that is so good I will listen to you tell me it’s better than Astro. I can just about respect someone who says Balatro is better. I’ve had those moments. The plane journeys across the world that were shortened to five seconds. My partner pleading with me to go to bed as the Steam Deck illuminated our room. I almost wish it had won at The Game Awards just to see that lot go absolutely mental. It would have been a worthy winner, too.

1. Astro BotPairs with: Monster Ultra Violet – The best one.

When I got the Platinum trophy in Astro Bot just 16 hours after the review code showed up, I caught a glimpse of my slumped, baldy reflection inn my TV. That was when I realized that I’d never experience joy like that again. Until a few days ago when they put fucking Gex in it. Peak.

What a game.

Also, see that amazing soundtrack? You know who composed most of it? Kenny CM Young. You know where big Kenny is from? Scotland. We gave you the television, GTA, and now this. Show a bit of respect.