The Severance Self-Help Book Is Now Available for Real-Life Inspiration

Been feeling a little lost lately, and in need of a new, authoritative voice on self-help that walks a very thin line between semi-profound insights and unvarnished New Age bullshit? Time to pick up a copy of The You You Are, written by Dr. Ricken Hale—pretentious but good-hearted brother-in-law of Mark Scout, the main character on Apple TV+ sci-fi thriller Severance. While the book was an in-universe plot device in season one (and if you’ve seen today’s episode, you know it’s got a new part to play in season two), it’s now getting an actual, real-world release.

The catch is that it’s not going to be a physical copy that you can leave on someone’s icy doorstep, or reluctantly share with someone named “Rebeck” at an author reading, or accidentally abandon in a conference room, or secretly read over and over while you’re supposed to be handling your Macrodata Refinement duties. As Variety notes, your options for (full title) The You You Are: A Spiritual Biography by (full name) Dr. Ricken Lazlo Hale, PhD are a digital download or an audiobook narrated by actor Michael Chernus, who plays Ricken to pompous perfection on the show.

The “book” is only 39 pages, but it is free, so while you might not get full Ricken philosophical immersion, this is still a very fun idea. Here’s what Apple Books says in its faux promo copy for The You You Are:

“Are you ready to meet the person who truly makes you “You”: You?

In his quinquennial tome, Dr. Ricken Lazlo Hale, PhD guides You on a brave journey of self-learnedness. Fertile with mind-engorging insights, The You You Are is an invitation to merge with your true “You,” and expel from your essence the dead-eyed conventionalism that has defined your life since infancy.

For the first time ever, Dr. Ricken’s luminous writings are available in digital format, only on Apple Books. Though librarians strongly urge reading his complete oeuvre, this ebook—featuring the inaugural eight chapters from The You You Are—is sure to tickle both the completist and the layman. In addition, enjoy an exclusive letter of apology from the author himself, addressed to none other than YOU.”

New episodes of Severance arrive Fridays on Apple TV+.

Want more io9 news? Check out when to expect the latest Marvel, Star Wars, and Star Trek releases, what’s next for the DC Universe on film and TV, and everything you need to know about the future of Doctor Who.