I Gave My Sister-in-Law a Reality Check After She Refused to Pay for Her Meal

We all know that one family member who somehow always avoids picking up the bill, but what do you do when it’s your sister-in-law? One woman, tired of being taken advantage of, reached out to share her story. After repeatedly covering for her sister-in-law’s “forgotten” wallet at fancy dinners, she finally decided to make a bold move. Now she’s questioning—did she go too far in standing up for herself?

Hello Bright Side,

I could use some advice on how to handle a tough family situation. My sister-in-law has been causing me a lot of frustration, and I’m not sure if I handled things the right way or if I overstepped.

Here’s the background: My sister-in-law, who’s 28, lives in another city but often comes to stay with us instead of booking a hotel. During her visits, she always insists on dining out at upscale restaurants. The problem? She never pays. She either conveniently “forgets” her wallet or comes up with some excuse to avoid paying her share. She even hints that since I earn more than her, it’s my responsibility to cover the bill—never my husband’s, just mine. Yes, I make a decent living, but that doesn’t mean I can foot the bill for her every time.

In the past, I usually ended up covering the bill and would politely ask her to pay me back, but she never did. Last night, she chose a pricey restaurant again, and I finally decided I’d had enough. I remembered a clever move from one of my favorite TV shows and decided to give it a try.

Before we left for the restaurant, I made it clear to her that I wouldn’t be paying her share this time. As we were about to head out, I pretended I’d forgotten something and went back inside. Her wallet was sitting right on top of her suitcase, so I slipped it into my purse without saying anything. After we finished eating, she pulled her usual stunt, claiming she’d forgotten her wallet and suggested we get one bill. That’s when I pulled out her wallet from my purse and asked, “Oh, you mean this one?”

She was furious and said I crossed a line by taking her wallet without asking. To top it off, she found out I was sharing the story with you, and now she’s even angrier, saying I’ve made her look bad.

Best regards,
Jessica.

Thanks for sharing your story with us, Jessica. We hope the advice we offer will provide you with some new insights on how to approach this tricky situation.

Here’s how you can handle things next time:

Rotate responsibilities: You could propose a rotation system where each of you takes turns covering the bill or planning the outing. This way, it’s fair, and everyone has the opportunity to contribute without feeling taken advantage of.Make her pay upfront: Suggest activities where she has to cover the cost in advance, like buying tickets for a show or making a reservation with a deposit. This way, she’s committed, and it’ll be harder for her to back out of paying later.Use a shared expense app: Suggest using a shared payment app like Splitwise. Mention how it makes splitting costs super easy and keeps track of who owes what. This keeps the payment situation transparent and helps avoid future awkwardness.Opt for affordable plans: Offer alternative activities that don’t involve expensive dinners. Cooking together, having a movie night, or finding fun, free local events can still be enjoyable without breaking the bank.

Agree on a budget: When planning together, mention your financial limits by saying something like, “I’m trying to keep things budget-friendly this time. Let’s find a place that works for both of us.” This keeps things balanced and ensures you’re not always stuck with the bill.Use her tactic: If you feel bold, you can playfully turn the tables by saying you “forgot” your wallet just before leaving. This might give her a glimpse of what it feels like!Politely decline expensive invites: If she suggests an over-the-top place that’s out of your comfort zone, feel free to politely decline. You can say something like, “That sounds fun, but I’m trying to save right now. Maybe we can do something more low-key?” This keeps things friendly while setting your boundaries.Family is often where we expect the most support, but one man shared a story about how his sister-in-law’s plan to reveal a family secret completely backfired on her. Instead of bringing things to light, her actions led to unexpected consequences.