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My Boyfriend Is Angry Because I Allowed My Ex To Give Us A Lift (Part 2)

My Boyfriend Is Angry Because I Allowed My Ex To Give Us A Lift (Part 2)

If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

I don’t usually bring my family into my relationship issues. All my life, there’s only one boyfriend of mine that my parents knew about. That was my first boyfriend. I didn’t tell them about him. They got to know because everyone was talking about our relationship. My parents didn’t know about this one too, Alfred. We had dated for over a year, but I didn’t drop any hint for them to know I had someone in my life.

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Alfred was hot and cold about our relationship. Today, he could be extra loving, doing everything men in love would do, but tomorrow, he’d turn into a different person, treating the relationship as if it didn’t matter. The good days were far more than the bad days, so I didn’t have any place in my heart for worries.

He wasn’t doing badly as a man. He lived according to the dictates of his salary and the problems of his life. I loved him the way he was. I wasn’t out there looking for a rich guy to date. My ex had money but worshipped his money and trampled on everything in his way, including our relationship. It was the reason I left and never looked back. I didn’t talk to him or about him again until Alfred and I met him that day.

When I hadn’t heard from Alfred for over a week, I decided to let my mom call him. My mom and I have that relationship, so I explained the whole story to her, and she was like, “Oh, but this is not any issue? Are you sure he’s not fighting you because of something you did before this?”

I dialed his number on my mom’s phone and asked her to talk to him on my behalf. My mom was in her motherly element — calm, cool, and with a soothing voice. She introduced herself to him and asked what the problem was. She even exaggerated the issue, telling him I had been crying and refusing to eat because of the issue. I thought Alfred would be respectful enough and melt on hearing my mom’s voice.

He kept screaming on the phone, “She disrespected me. How can she reduce me to zero in the presence of her ex as if we didn’t have money to pick a car to our destination? I didn’t even know she had an ex until that day.”

I kept quiet and listened to him talk about the issue as if it were the worst sin a lady could commit. My mom said, “You’re right. I’ve asked her to give you a special apology. Please pick up your phone and talk to her. I want her to eat, so please talk to her.”

After the conversation, my mom said, “Eiii, but if he can’t forgive this, what else would he forgive? He’s very strong-headed. What kind of silly ego is that?”

In the evening, this guy called and twisted everything my mom said. I asked him, “So what do you want me to do?” He answered, “I can’t tell you what to do. You can even go to your rich ex if you want to. After all, he’s the one you want and not me.”

He cut the call even before I could ask the rest of my questions. I felt disrespected, so I decided if I didn’t hear from him again for another week, I would advise myself.

And then my story was published.

A lot of people blamed me for what happened. They asked why I told him the truth. They said I bruised his ego, and some asked, if he was the one whose ex picked us up, wouldn’t I have acted the same way? A lot more people said I wasn’t wrong. I was buoyed by their comments, so I tagged him in the story.

He texted, “So now you’re taking me global? When are you going to CNN? I will respond when you get there.” I told him I was frustrated by the fact that he was ghosting me. “I wish you would tell me your mind once and for all so I know what to do.” He didn’t text again — again, ghosting me like I didn’t exist.

One day, my ex called. Immediately I picked up the call, I started shouting at him, “You’re the reason I’m where I am today. Why are you calling me? Were you sent to destroy my relationship?” He asked what happened, and I explained everything. He said, “Ah, is this an issue? I even called to lambast you for not calling me to say thank you after everything, and he’s rather angry? Did I touch you or did I say anything that I shouldn’t have said?”

Eventually, he told me he could apologize on my behalf if I allowed him. I told him, “Just tell me you came to bury the remains of my relationship, and I will understand. Your car kɛkɛ has brought me here, and you want to talk to him? Ah bra!”

One month, and nothing has changed. I had gone through all the processes of pain, and I’d accepted that I’d lost him. My mom’s words kept ringing in my ears. I read the same thing in the comments too — that if he wouldn’t forgive this, then what would he forgive? I forgot about closure and moved on.

March was my birthday. He sent me a message. When I responded, it turned into a chat. His birthday was in March too, but I didn’t say anything. I even forgot. He texted, “Eiii ɔdɔ saa na ato adapaa.” I don’t know how to translate that, but he was trying to say that because the love I had for him was dead, I’d forgotten about him. I wished him a happy birthday, but he wanted to talk.

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During the Easter festivities, he bought a ticket for us to go on a trip. He said it was his way of saying sorry and that he overreacted, but I should understand that he loved me too much — that was why the pain was that deep. I accepted to go on the trip with him, but a day before the trip, I canceled. It didn’t feel right. I realized I didn’t feel anything for him or for the trip. He asked what next, and I told him nothing next, so he should rest. We talked until I stopped responding to his messages at some point. He was desperate for a comeback, but everything in me was dead.

—Paulina
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